Matilda and I did hear from some more time. She blamed my infidelities and his lack of love me, and as one causes the other round was endless. Yet we continue to pretend to our son, Evan, but none of us made the effort and the other awaiting the divorce was finally proclaimed. Matilda wanted to get paid to have its view, tempered six years of his life. She made sure to have sole custody of Evan, telling the judge that in vivid anger, I was hitting. Despite my denials were not granted me the right to see Evan only once a month. I was devastated. I regretted all those ancient times, when we were happy all the three, I wanted to reconquer Matilda but it was too late, and if I continued to insist she threatened to tell the judge that I was harassing her. Was unresolved.
As I depressed a lot, my sister invited me on vacation with her. It was a lovely person but a bit special, it does not eat meat sparingly and lived alone with his dogs in the countryside. Quite the opposite of my Parisian life, but it did me good. To amuse myself anyway she organized a meal with friends, equally strange that, although there was one that disturbed me more than others. His name was Mike, but had already quarantined a beard white, long graying hair tied in a ponytail and an atypical, marked various wrinkles and crevices, he was young and old at once, as if his soul had been one hundred years. I hoped he had never touched my sister, because I was a strange feeling. He had spent the meal staring at me intensely and more dinner passed, the more I was afraid it was I wanted to touch it ... After dinner, while everyone was smoking around the fire in fireplace, Mike took me aside to talk. He told me, mysterious
"I have long observed and I've heard. Your anger, she screams, she upsets me. Why do you that dogs run away from you? They feel, it scares them. I would like to help you in all friendship.
- I do not know why you say that there is no quieter than me and I think it does not concern you anyway!
- Yet I can not as hearing, well before today, the cries reached me, I'm not here by chance ... Here is a book I wrote long ago, on page 23 you find what you need. "
Then Mike had disappeared, leaving me confused with this book in their hands. I do not see him again during the evening. My sister told me it was a passing acquaintance, he frightened him but he was also a lemon pie to die so she invited him to eat.
the evening in my bed, I watched the book that I kept. He was old and smelled musty. At the indicated page was written by Mike "How to get what you want and deserve, 100% success." The turn was a bit rough and noisy, it made me think of those ads lights / voodoo that promised impossibilities miles launching bone chicken and dressing. Nevertheless I continued to read, the chapter explained the procedure to pass a lot of heard, he also advocated not to use it for bad things for good or evil-so-was hopelessly back times three. I do not believe all these things but I could not deny it troubled me. Was it a challenge, curiosity or desperation, the next day I went to buy all the ingredients for this recipe funny? How can we believe that some herbs, incense and candles lit a black full moon could change a life? Yet I hope this fool, this tiny certainty that I had the power necessary to change the things short. The night I was preparing everything myself laughing a little, by the way, my stupidity. Reciting the formula in a language I do not understand, I suddenly thought to Matilda and her selfishness, anger rose in me, I who am, however, if asked. I felt very cold and I hate to overwhelm me as I went along in the song. The incense made me turn my head and my sight blurred. The flame of the candle flickered and I could not see it. It burned my soul. My voice never went out, my breathing was difficult, I was very scared if I could feel anything but anger unhealthy. I wanted it to stop, that anger stops and never return. And then the image of Evan was imposed me and everything had calmed down. Shocked, I was putting everything in a hurry and threw the book that wishes to forget this story. I had not even had time to state my wish.
Days passed, I left my sister's vegetable soup and dogs that I got up at dawn. I found Paris, work, loneliness, and yet this little two-room empty of furniture where only drawings Evan gave a little color to the walls. For me, the episode was deleted from my sister, as you erase the sordid or unpleasant things, so I made the connection with the subsequent events until much later. So I thought no more when Matilda's mother called. She was upset, Matilda had been taken to hospital after being hit by a car yet unidentified. At the time a little voice in me says "well done" but once at his bedside, his face bruised see me full of pain. His mind was lost in what they called coma. He never regained the path and Matilda died two days later. My grief was great, because even if we had we ended up hating it had long been my friend and my love. My anger at the same time she flew, leaving only the bitter regret. Evan told me was he did not really understand where Mom was, so I cried for him. However, once the sadness of mourning Mathilde past (and I admit a little ashamed she strangely faded quickly), I could appreciate and enjoy the return of my son with me. I was completely happy again. See wake up, talk, open to the world was a wonder. I felt good, I could not be more pleased. This happiness lasted several months when life was filled with laughter and tenderness without pain or anger. But is it that everything is paid? The world never forgets him.
is when I woke up from a horrible nightmare where monsters were full of guests to a meal at I think that this day began. It was a Sunday, it rained in torrents, probably the worst day of the beginning of this year. I was grumpy and found Evan weeping louder than the clouds, Boomerang, the cat that I had bought at the death of his mother, fled through the door window. Not knowing how to comfort him as he wanted to go out and get him, I promised to find him myself. Once outside, soaking wet, I curse my promise. At that point we had to move to the suburbs, not far from the city, but enough so that the cat was lost in the maze of Mother Nature, which I did in my turn, do not yet know very well the area. I of course forgot my phone in a hurry, the rain was still falling and the ground was a real ice rink. Suddenly I saw Boomerang scared, I slipped into grabbing my arm cushioning the fall of a snapping sound. Pain paralyzed me for a moment but I thought of Evan, a cat and got up. I had to give up the umbrella, my right arm is inert and holding the cat in the other. Streaming and frozen to death, I thought I would die there. I poured out my anger against the sky when the headlights of a car appeared. A nice old lady insisted on taking me to the hospital in the city for my arm. Unfortunately once over there there was an endless queue. A stressed out and worried about Evan home alone, I decided to go by taxi. One wanted to take me, the man had a beard and long hair gray, he seemed a bit stoned but I pretended not to see it to go quickly. He drove fast despite the rain, talking a lot, I was not listening, it seemed to me from afar with his incoherent lecture, I was suddenly very tired, I watched the drops on the glass slide, I forgot everything. The landscape marched briskly, we soon arrived. Suddenly took a turn too sharply my arm knocked the door violently. I could not help but scream. The driver turned around a second. A simple enough for a second that shadow, he could see and avoid melting on the car. He collided with a crash before squealing his tires. Fear embraced me. I stormed out just when the rain ended his barrage. Dislocated arms, eyes turned skyward, the yellow wax smeared with blood and mud, my son was lying on the road. The taxi hastened to disappear with the cat still inside. I should be angry if I could feel something other than absolute vacuum so that m'aspirait. I had thought to wait until another car passes to throw myself at it, nobody ever no one came.
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